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Wednesday, April 27, 2011
This is air. We never think about it; it is vital. Breath connects us to spirit.
Sometimes, in the Lightworker, Body/Mind Connection path we need to put back into ourselves.
Yesterday, I spent an overnight shift on call in Labor and Delivery. I didn't get much sleep. But today was a changing day nevertheless.
First, I saw all my patients. I rounded on them. Anesthesia *never* rounds on their patients post-op. With my surgical training, I can't skip this crucial step. So...every c-section, every NSVD, I saw to make sure the block had worn off and my patients were not in pain.
Then, I went to a French Bakery and had a croissant. A REAL BUTTER croissant. Like I have not had in years, and coffee.
I got a hair cut. I took a nap. I saw family and we went out together to a favorite family restaurant we have enjoyed since we were growing up.
Sometimes, the body needs more than food, water, and sleep. We need pampering. The soul benefits from this.
I remarked on this from 'Soulshaping: Adventures in Self Creation' by Jeff Brown. He was a trial lawyer who became a writer and spiritual guide of sorts by baring his soul-searching experience in his book. This man had LOTS of massages, weekends in the country, seminars, conferences to help him find his way. The horrible trauma of his childhood necessitated it. I like how he teaches our lessons in this moment are what it right for us. He is the only author besides myself who has questions true gurus from false ones. He has advice on this, but furthermore states that 'we are both the teacher and the student'.
Check out his website www.soulshaping.com
Another thing I did is visit a medium. I spent an hour basically talking with dad, who will have passed away two years now. It helps. I have a tape to go over of the session. He is reputable, and does work by telephone as well. I can refer you if you are interested.
I almost lost a friend over him. Well, a long-lost friend I had reconnected with when her child died unexpectedly. I had just discovered this 'sensitive-psychic', benefitted greatly, and sent my old friend a gift certificate, which is not cheap. She was deeply distressed, as this went against her Christian faith.
If it had been 'Holy Spirit' instead of 'dead people' talking, she would have been fine with it.
One day all this animosity will straighten out. My path is to be true to my calling, my task.
This is it.
It doesn't get better than this. AAAhhhhhh! I feel much better : )
Monday, April 25, 2011
Even broken dreams bear fruit when one applies the power of intent, just like seeds in the garden grow to bear fruit.
Two of my 'crushed dreams' I wrote about in the last column came back!
What am I talking about? Well, here is my thinking: the ability to bring something to reality is stronger than the power of others to stop this process. In other words, 'who can put a sprout back into a seed?'
Lesson 1: The custody at the holiday.
I share my kid. It bothers me. I hate it. But I put our son's needs first.
The OTHER parent's MOTHER wanted MORE for EASTER. They added an extra two hours to the weekend, leaving our side of the family three hours to celebrate. Furthermore, my hand was forced into having the get together at my house, to prevent two of those three hours from used for travel to and from our extended family's house.
The OTHER parent raised voice when I negotiated to either flip the day (morning our side, afternoon their) or split the difference (one hour later instead of two). This brought on hostility at the verbal, emotional and spiritual level. This partner of mine was exactly the same psychically when we were together. It was brutal, painful, and after they left I cried, heartbroken for an hour...embarrassed to cry in front of our child.
I felt my pain and honored it. The IN-LAW later confessed to putting up the EX-PARTNER up to this stunt, trying to justify basically changing the custody to suit her needs. Although a family member was sick, practically hospice sick, I let her know exactly how upset I was and why. It takes an act of Congress to get a holiday off in my line of work. I would have appreciated a chance to know BEFORE two weeks in advance of the holiday to either WORK or make other plans. I also shared that my family members were not healthy, and have more than six months but probably less than two years to live. I got the time split to one and one half hours.
All the while, I imagined a beautiful party at my house with our boy in it, enjoying his cousins.
It came to pass. The house was all set, Easter was celebrated late in the day, but it worked. Furthermore, the niece who had an organ transplant has to be without food before and after a certain life-saving pill. I had not factored that into our celebration. But Spirit did.
Lesson 2: The furniture
There is a certain piece of furniture at my grandmother's home I have always expressed an interest to have, once she passed or did not want it.
The dysfunctionality of my family reared its ugly head. I agreed to let this piece go in order to keep the peace. I was devastated.
I felt my pain and told one family member exactly why I was upset: my family, particularly her, had on multiple occasions treated me pretty bad. I saw another sibling favored. Heavily. And this piece, from my grandmother was what I had focused on to stay the course. It was my dream to one day have it.
Once I let it go, exactly as I had let go the Easter plans with my kid, miraculous things happened.
The family members had a change of heart, the one with the truck brought the piece over, and now it looks better than ever in my house.
I will remember the miracle every time I look at it. Everyone knew in my heart it was mine.
How does this apply to you?
Think of a dream. Own it. Cherish it. Look forward to it, imagining it as if it were real and yours already.
Feel the joy. Feel the love, feel the happiness...
Due to your inherit ability to manifest, and you were born with it, it will come true. All that needs for it to happen is to feel your feelings, let go to the outcome, and let the Universe do what is best for all : )
Saturday, April 23, 2011
This is an ancient protective lion statue outside Grauman's Chinese Theatre.
Conflict has been around since time began. There are many ways of looking at it. I find the 'warrior's way' helpful.
Reiki is the power of Spirit. It is positive, healing, and light.
Not everyone has their T.V. set to this channel!
Lately I have been wrongly accused, had dreams crushed, and been taken advantage of. Why? Well, for one example, think of it as teachers training me on my task of spreading Reiki. How will I have Reiki be a part of my core belief system when I do not apply it in conflict?
Another way of looking at it is 'detachment'. These teachers won't let you get anything 'your way'. What really IS 'your way'? Is it ego? It might be. Take a closer look, feel your feelings, and let it go.
The last way of looking at it, is as in battle. The way of spirit, when adhered to, is going to win. I am not going to let *my* vibration sink to 'their level'. I am going to rise above. I keep my power when I do not blame, explain, or struggle to get my way. I am the bigger person. I offer the injustice to Spirit, like appealing to a higher court. There will be justice. But not at this place and time.
Happy Easter, Happy Spring!
Thursday, April 21, 2011
I just finished another overnight's call on obstetrics.
Today I am going to share with you about a few times I was giving of myself, in the Reiki manner.
Day before yesterday a neighbor's garage was aflame. There was a lot of chaos and screaming and fear. Our houses are all connected together, and this one below mine on the hill was the end home of a three-house unit. After making sure the four fire trucks that were there were 'winning', my son and I walked down the hill to check out the scene. I saw people watching in chairs, taking pictures, and a fireman ripping down a garage door. Energetically, the firemen were absorbed in their work, calm, focusing. My son was starting to get sucked into the 'it's awful' sentiment. Without saying a word, I gave Reiki. To the whole three-house unit. I felt a LOT of it flow. When it stopped, I closed the session. Reiki flows fast and the gift took about three minutes. The fire still was burning, but I knew I had taken steps to invite peace into this tragedy. Reiki can be sent to places and events, both forward (job interview? ) and back in time. All you need is the distance symbol, and Reiki II attunement to get it sent.
A coworker of mine confided in me. Problems at home, that were now aggravated by the loss of job in the not-so-motivated spouse. I could see patterns of energy, ego, and thought that had led to this since the last conversation maybe six months ago. I let my entire being become a channel of healing energy, with one guidance communicated by mouth--'call the toll-free confidential hotline and get into counseling.' At the same time, I could see how free will was at play, respecting the situation on all levels. Without their knowing it, I added this worker to a prayer group, all the while knowing that Reiki guidance can help make a bad situation less awful. It works.
At last Psychic development circle, I knew I was supposed to attend. I normally enjoy guidance from the session towards my soul journey. This one was different. I saw how people take. One man goes to both circles and has done so for years. Lots of spiritual direction is given to this individual. Every time. But information that is freely given to confirm the validity of the information given to him is not shared by this lightworker with the rest of the group. For the first time I noticed the imbalance. I saw blocks in another, and the various stages of progress of each member of our group. No information came to me through others. In quiet moments spirit gave me information for myself. But what I shared with the group far outweighed what was given by the group to me. I understood the point of circle--people of various stages of psychic development connect on a regular meeting schedule in order for each individual to grow. I realized my teacher, the leader of the session, acts in this role herself on most times. I modeled myself after her. And I saw what a future teaching Reiki is all about. It is like being in medicine--of service to others--for their healing and their overall spiritual growth.
P.S. There is an 'introduction to Reiki' lecture at the metaphysical shop near my house next week. It is billed 'as used in hospitals'. LOL
In love and Light,
Monday, April 18, 2011
I was surprised to see the Chopra influence at the place. I saw the shop, the center, the meeting room where they do yoga, and meditated in the meditation room. With my son. The kind lady giving us the tour nearly fell over when I said we will have no problem meditating. I am a Reiki Master and he is a Reiki Two...at age six.
Apparently one 50 minute treatment of Reiki at the spa was $155!
The spa is very nice, a 'spa topia', complete with Feng Shui heauty salon. But I couldn't help picking up on the vibes of that place. It was Carnival Cruise with a self-improvement twist. Wealthy middle-aged couples were walking around with the woman in her yoga clothes. It didn't feel...connected.
At the Lilly Pulitzer store, while browsing, I overheard a woman telling the clerk she single-handedly convinced an anesthesiologist from UCLA from 'going into bioidentical hormone buisiness.' Ah, the conspiracy of their whispers against medicine. The tone was 'they knew best!'. I smiled. I cover BOTH worlds!
At least it is a start, the Chopra center. By the end of the second day, my son and I had picked up on so much negative energy we were bickering with each other. I checked out right then and there. We drove to Sea World...and had a much more pleasant rest of our vacation.
Rest and relaxations is important. Especially for those of us in the helping professions. I have a Whipple today.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
The workplace is a very stressful place due to the nature of the traditional physicians' work. Stress can be from the severity of disease presentation, from 'production pressure' to treat patients faster and thereby produce more 'work', and from interpersonal concerns just as in any workplace.
Last time of a twenty-four hour shift, I intubated two people who were in the process of dying. The first one really bothered me. I saw the wife leaving the unit as I was walking in. The combination of what I am, what I do, and why I am doing it struck me with THE BIG PICTURE. Although I was able to do my job efficiently, it was not clear that despite a patent airway this man was going to make it. It got me down. From the adrenaline of the code blue, to the significance of this loss, it shook me to my core. Fortunately I was able to sit an process it by a fountain, reach out to friends, and come to equilibrium.
Since I had two such patients, in one day (the second reminded me of my father during his passing one year ago, equally hitting me 'at home')...I thought I would learn from it.
Doctors, nurses and everyone that works in the hospital, are human. We are not machines. Some of the things that replenish me I actively seek. Watching basketball, exercising, meditating and keeping ties open with family and friends helps. My greatest joy these days is practicing a form of healing, 'Divine Peace Healing'.
In Divine Peace Healing, the practitioner co-creates peace for many purposes. I find that sending Peace to help the Earth and places and groups of people on it very grounding. I do this at the same time every day. When I pray for individuals, I see effects in them. It really helps.
No matter what you do, if you are a lightworker who is a healer in traditional allopathic medicine, doing what you can in your down time to enhance your connection to Spirit is a must.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Today I had two cases that illustrate the cohesion of teamwork, spirit, empathy, and anesthetic skill.
Last night I had been on the obstetric anesthesia twenty-four hour shift, when a colleague of mine approached me with a favor. A cardiac case had been added. Instead of the two of us going home the following day, only one of us was. He was planning to take his dad to follow up for his cardiac surgery, and would I mind doing him a favor? I could not say no. So I faced more than twenty-four hours away from rest, as a favor to him.
The OR is full of favors. It is how you and your teammate/colleagues get the time you need to get anything done. If you want to go to your child's Open House, you have to make arrangements for it, not to be on call, to be first in line to get out early, and also for a person to take your place at the last minute if there is not time.
You can imagine my heartache when at one-thirty a.m. I was woken up out of a deep sleep to go do a c-section in thirty minutes. I did it, full well knowing I would pay the price for it the following day.
The nurses on that night stalled the calls for epidurals for me so I could get sleep. I woke up at seven, and was surprisingly refreshed. I had fifteen minutes to assemble the syringes and equipment and interview the patient for my case.
Patient 1: the umbilical hernia repair, a two stitch operation. A very large, basketball player-sized patient, I planned for a general with an endotracheal tube to provide full relaxation for the surgeon.
At the bedside in pre-op, I learned due to complications from a prior surgery, no tube was desired. Fine, there were no contraindications, so I switched to LMA. The wife was anxious, as he 'almost didn't make it' during the last trip to the OR, and was in a coma for three days.
The anesthesia airway was uneventful, but the anesthetic was. Low blood pressures, typical of poor function of the heart. Anesthesia is a stress, and this man was not up to it. Deep down, underneath, the couple both must have known he was not 'at his best', hence the nerves about the surgery.
I supported the blood pressure with pressors, gave minimal anesthetic, and he was fine in recovery room. I went to find the wife, reassured her. And she paused. She said, "I want to give you a big hug but I am not sure if it is okay with you." I said fine, and as she hugged me, I knew why I had been put on this case. To help the couple cope, both technically and emotionally. I never did conscious Reiki. There wasn't time, not with the paperwork and orders and preparation for the next case. But the Reiki Way helped nonetheless.
Scheduled one cancelled. ER patient direct admit to OR. Doctor's mom. (Murphy Law to the MAX, LOL). I knew it could go either way. Was going to the ICU for post op, no matter what. I lined her. Yes, a large bore i.v. and an arterial line. The former to fluid resuscitate the impending septic patient. The latter, to save her on blood draws in the unit as well as to watch pressure more closely than with cuff.
I was worn out by the time I got everything started and finished with my orders, charts, and the documentation on the electronic record. PACU nurses HATE having to enter lines into the system. So I did. All of them--NGT, a-line, i.v.
A colleague of mine came to relieve me. There is a macho rule that if there are less than thirty minutes left, don't let someone finish your case. He said, 'this place is different. you were up all night."
I left. Yawning.
At noon I went to the reptile store to get new bedding for our pet. And I was so tired I couldn't think of a place to eat. So I leaned back the seat and slept in the car. And started to cry. When you are that tired, what else can you do?
Home, lunch, a bath, and now ready to start my weekend.
The moral of the story is: your health care provider's life is as complex as a kitchen in a restaurant. Like a good server, they work hard to make the surgical experience right for you. Being in partnership with spirit, sometimes strange coincidences work to make sure YOU are the one for the job. Whether you like it or not. It is only at the end you see what your meaningful contribution actually was.
Take care and have a good weekend!
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
This one gave me a double-take at the butcher counter the other day. Why have something ordinary when you could have something beautiful?
Yesterday I went into my favorite 'crystal store'. I adore these places. Whenever I travel, the first thing I do when I am in my hotel room is look through the area yellow pages under bookstores and metaphysical. I like to know where they are. There aren't many. In my area there are four, but only two are really good ones.
At my favorite, when I walked in the door, intuition said, 'make eye contact with the owner' who was at the register. He glanced my way, but I worked to catch his gaze and hold it, looking him straight in the eye.
It felt funny, energetically, like I was giving Reiki, but I wasn't consciously in Reiki Mode right then.
"Wow! You could be Braco's sister!" he exclaimed, looking at his computer. Braco is a Croatian healer who heals just by looking at you. (http://www.braco.net/) He had been on that page at that moment.
I didn't know anything about Braco. But I laughed. Here I was to 'recharge' for a few minutes while running errands, and here I am, being used by Spirit, healing someone! Again!
What has been happening is my purpose. I am asking for it to be shown to me. This blog is part of it. Humanitarian is part of it. I have a very strong desire to help, I know. I help at work and at play.
But today? I am starting to write my book. I am looking forward to it. Will tell you more, later. : )